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If we learn what the ego is and why it does what it does, we can recognize what to do and how to manage it. We see more clearly how to make decisions based on our authentic self rather than from the protective fearful ego. Life-changing to learn this skill.

Learning to control ourselves, our actions and inactions, show us the truth. Navigating from a clear head provides action and answers. Staying closed and stuck in chaos prevents us from positive thinking and making decisions.

Pride and ego keep up living in unawareness of what we need to gain, what to let go of, and that we can create new beliefs. Letting down our guard shows us what to do and how; and we gain our purpose. We find ourselves.

We are always moving forward watching and noticing what comes into our path. Sometimes it’s to pause and take notice. Other times we see what action to take in our healing of trauma, abuse, betrayal, or personal limitations. We can find hope knowing that we are exactly where we need to be at any given moment.

Learning to tell the truth of what is really going on in our life. You are worth it to let someone know your struggle. You are valuable enough to not hold everything inside alone. Tell the truth.

Choosing to divorce is a complicated and painful decision. In this episode, I talk about the questions you can ask yourself, the choice of staying, and both the heartache and benefits if divorce is the right answer for you and your family. Ultimately it’s a decision made between you and God.

When we do the healing work in all areas and all levels we become whole. The payout is worth the time, effort, and money. Healing emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally is possible as we Choose In to ourselves. You are worth it. God will send just the right tools for you to fully heal.

Description: It is extremely scary to be vulnerable. As we learn the key areas we need it, and develop the skills to practice it, our lives move forward. We get better, feel better, and our relationships greatly improve. Vulnerability is a form of honesty and integrity. It's imperative for growth and healing.

We are looking deep at our heart wounds, talking through how to heal them, and the benefits of love and happiness that come with doing that hard rewarding work.

The walls we formed around our heart were built to protect us. But they will harm us in our present and future, and prevent growth and love, if we don’t heal those wounds.

Learn how to understand where fear is coming from, how to recognize it, and how to let it go, so you can move out of feeling paralyzed by taking action steps to move forward.

There is a way to live your own life and not be a prisoner to the what if's. Learn the phrases you need that will help you let go of trying to control what he does or does not do so that you can be happy and free.

Choosing the healing work changes everything. Everytime you learn something new it's as if a weight is lifted off your shoulders and you feel lighter and free. My husband Garin joins me for a portion of the episode sharing why he does his healing work even though it's hard.

Description: When we are faced with triggers or past trauma, it’s easy to turn back to what feels familiar. Challenge yourself to move through the pain rather than repeat the heartache.

From the words of Brene' Brown, "Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen"...."Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance."

Listen to these examples to see if this resonates with you. I talk about scenarios where abuse may not be noticed and I give you phrases you can use to set boundaries.

Words, phrases, and actions explaining what verbal and emotional abuse looks like and sounds like. Steps we can take to learn and change these behaviors in ourselves and boundaries we can place to keep safe from others if we are being abused in this way

We don’t have to navigate and control everything around us trying to make sure it all works out.

With recent events of chaos and destruction how can we open our eyes to what’s happening in our own homes and learn to see things different so we can take action.

How to turn what feels impossible into peace and freedom from the chaos of the unknown.

Asking questions to name the pain that is triggering us, leads to validation and letting go, and continuing forward in our healing.

There is pain and exhaustion after the work is done and the major part of the trial is over. We discuss why this happens and how to navigate to healing

Betrayal is shocking regardless of our experience. The heart does not know the difference between pornography addiction and/or face to face infidelity. What you’ve experienced is worth holding space for. It does not need to be compared to another persons trauma.

“Stop asking why they keep doing it, and start asking yourself why you keep allowing it”

Speaking truth is hard to do and hard to hear sometimes but its the way to living in truth and not continually pushing things under the rug as if its not happening all around us. Staying quiet may protect the one, but speaking out protects many.

So much freedom to enjoy when we get out of our own way and remove our false beliefs.

Putting our grief on the table, being open to new ways of seeing, brings us awareness and furthers healing.

We are precious to God. We talk about what that means, how we can remember that truth, and how to take advantage of His Love.

You have to “Act” in order to receive the answers you need that will change your situation. Acting for yourself rather than being “acted upon” will strengthen you so you will be able to make hard decisions when needed.

Shaming our emotional brain hinders our progress and healing. Learn to accept both our logic and our emotional ways of thinking to reach clarity and healing.

When panic and chaos suddenly appear, do I react from a place of fear or of a sound mind? What is my body trying to tell me?

Finding our worth by using a list and container to unpack and see clear the steps we need to take in order to uncover our worth and become ready to take control of our happiness.

We all fall short at times. We learn something and then make the same mistake again and again. This episode talks about why this happens and how it's part of our growth and progression.

It's harmful when we try to save another person from the consequence of their choices. If we are in denial of the truth and enable others we are hindering our progress as well as theirs.

It's important to know how to decompress our stress and anxieties. We talk through many ways to combat overwhelming feelings and return to a state of peace allowing clarity to fill our mind and soul.

We are getting real with the truth about how our behaviors are limiting our progress in finding healing and recovery from trauma.

Trauma told me the only way to survive was to see the whole picture. My higher power and the 12-step program told me to take one step at a time.

It was time to accept my reality. The truth was staring me in the face. I needed to heal me...but how?

Episode 1: I thought my Life was a Lie: As a survivor of betrayal, infidelity, trauma, and emotional abuse, I Chose In to doing the hard work necessary to see through the manipulation, deceit, and lies that came from being the spouse of an addict.

Welcome to the Choose In Podcast!