Denial is such a powerful tool. We use it to cope with uncertainty, to excuse ourselves from taking needed action, and pretending that we are okay the way things are even if we are not. We can keep living with our eyes pointed to the ground or we can see the truth and experience relief, freedom, and empowerment. We are deserving of positive growth and an abundance of perspective.
Understanding our children’s mental health needs is just as important as scheduling their dental check up’s. My guest is Maurice Harker CMHC of Life Changing Services. He passionately shares what to say to our children and how to help arm them with knowledge to face the world of pornography and addiction, as well as being proactive in their mental and emotional health. He gives examples and dialogue of what to do and how to do it when talking with our kids. Don’t rely on yourself to figure it out.
Life changes when we suffer from trauma and triggers. It’s hard to go places we used to go, do things we once loved, and participate in activities that we once didn’t think twice about. We want our life back. As we are healing, those triggers show up and can take over. Being prepared ahead of time can help us stay clear and grounded and begin the process of taking back our life. There is hope to be able to be free again and live life to the fullest. It takes time and effort but it is possible.
It’s hard enough to be faced with divorce let alone have our friends and family tell us what we should and shouldn’t be doing. In this mini episode I talk through the judgements we receive and how to handle them.
It’s common when someone who has betrayed us or caused us harm in some way is asking us to forgive and forget. This happens because they will feel better about what they did if we are no longer in pain. In this first episode of our mini series where I will be answering common questions I receive, we go over what forgiveness looks like for us.
The resiliency of women has been proven throughout time. You are no different. You handle so much, do so much, endure so much. My guest Maurice Harker CMHC of Life-Changing Services boldly shares what to look for when a spouse is choosing recovery from addiction, what you are scientifically deserving of, and that your children will be okay. You don’t want to miss this episode. I was blown away by his insight.
When we are standing in that desolate place in our mind and feel paralyzed and stuck with all that has been lost and not knowing how to feel happy or productive again or the feeling of not knowing how to progress and move forward, create for yourself a blank slate.
Repost of Episode 23. Words, phrases, and actions explaining what verbal and emotional abuse looks like and sounds like. Steps we can take to learn and change these behaviors in ourselves and boundaries we can place to keep safe from others if we are being abused in this way
Such a great interview with Christine Baird. She is a worth expert and teaches others through her podcast "The Worthfull Project" how to own their own worth. Learning that and coming to a place of "knowing" that you don't have to earn your worth fills your soul with love as you come to believe and accept that it's already in you. You just have to remember that it's there and always has been...
Sitting with our feelings allows us to grieve and surrender to the hold they have on us. This allows for peace as we let go. This is where we change our false beliefs, heal past wounds, and overcome the barriers that have been in our way keeping us from succeeding.
We take key points from last weeks interview with Geoff Steurer on being an observer, and show how important that is in all our relationships. Being an observer gives us information and truth so we can accept and make better decisions.
I am talking with Geoff Steurer LMFT about what signs and actions we are looking for and can expect when a partner is trying to build trust back into the marriage after infidelity and betrayal. We cover what that looks like staying in the relationship and also healing personally whether in the marriage or moving forward without our partner. The insight he shares is so helpful and eye opening, and offers clarity so we can make healthy decisions.
We come up against a wall; sometimes one of our own and other times someone else’s. In this episode I’m talking about a new way to look at these walls and what to do about them. How do we tackle breaking them down? We will be looking at them from a new angle.
Looking at life, our healing, and what is holding us back from being our truest and best self, will blow our perspective out of the water and change everything! Being completely intentional with what we’re doing and why; asking ourselves the deep questions bring us the greatest discoveries which is equal to adding so much joy. Knowing and learning brings peace.
Excitement is brewing as I go over all the things I want to share with you and all that is coming! New empowering tools and tips.
We’ve got to change what we are putting in our mind so we can create new pathways and beliefs if we want our life to improve and receive our desired outcome.
We want so badly to save our partner or family member from themselves and their choices. It doesn’t work like we want. We end up losing ourself and our sanity when we exhaust everything on their behalf. But there is a way to offer love, tools, and everything, in a way that heals us and helps us get stronger.
I was a witness to a domestic violence situation and I acted. God brought safety right to her front door and offered a way to be saved. What’s on your front porch showing you how to be saved, change, take action, etc? Are you letting God show you how to be saved? And are you taking it?
I took back Valentines Day. Trauma will no longer own me or any other date that brings up past trauma experiences. I teach you a technique to raise your vibration to shift your heart and mind and change the way you view the outcomes of the future.
Noticing the shame we carry and feel when we are happy, sad, or being treated poorly will help us learn how to reject it. We will not allow it to have place in us anymore. Shame robs us of feeling good enough and tells us lies about who we are and what are true situation is. We are busting through shame in this episode to find even more healing.
As we find our power from deep within we begin to change our circumstances. With each step of change we feel empowered with our growth and healing. We begin to feel happy and proud of ourselves. This joy moves us forward. Healing happens. Life changes. And it feels good.
What is up and coming in 2021 with me and Choose In?! Listen in and hear all that is happening so you don’t miss the opportunity to be a part of something meant for you. You can stay where we are or you can take the steps to thrive personally this year! It feels good to feel strong and empowered! You’ve got this.
How to navigate a child’s well-being when their parent is an addict as well as what’s the impact of the truth and choosing divorce. We cover all of that!
Becoming aware, separating truth from fiction, and finding coping strategies, all help with the unwanted triggers that pop into our head creating stories that send us spiraling. That doesn’t have to happen. We can change the outcome.
The Holiday Season brings a lot of joy and a lot of pain and sadness for many who have gone through or are going through hard times. This episode covers the heartache as well as talks about finding or making a healing home regardless of what’s missing. There is peace and pain all rolled up in one as we navigate life’s experiences.
If we learn what the ego is and why it does what it does, we can recognize what to do and how to manage it. We see more clearly how to make decisions based on our authentic self rather than from the protective fearful ego. Life-changing to learn this skill.
Learning to control ourselves, our actions and inactions, show us the truth. Navigating from a clear head provides action and answers. Staying closed and stuck in chaos prevents us from positive thinking and making decisions.
Pride and ego keep up living in unawareness of what we need to gain, what to let go of, and that we can create new beliefs. Letting down our guard shows us what to do and how; and we gain our purpose. We find ourselves.
We are always moving forward watching and noticing what comes into our path. Sometimes it’s to pause and take notice. Other times we see what action to take in our healing of trauma, abuse, betrayal, or personal limitations. We can find hope knowing that we are exactly where we need to be at any given moment.
Learning to tell the truth of what is really going on in our life. You are worth it to let someone know your struggle. You are valuable enough to not hold everything inside alone. Tell the truth.
Choosing to divorce is a complicated and painful decision. In this episode, I talk about the questions you can ask yourself, the choice of staying, and both the heartache and benefits if divorce is the right answer for you and your family. Ultimately it’s a decision made between you and God.
When we do the healing work in all areas and all levels we become whole. The payout is worth the time, effort, and money. Healing emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally is possible as we Choose In to ourselves. You are worth it. God will send just the right tools for you to fully heal.
Description: It is extremely scary to be vulnerable. As we learn the key areas we need it, and develop the skills to practice it, our lives move forward. We get better, feel better, and our relationships greatly improve. Vulnerability is a form of honesty and integrity. It's imperative for growth and healing.
Learn how to understand where fear is coming from, how to recognize it, and how to let it go, so you can move out of feeling paralyzed by taking action steps to move forward.
There is a way to live your own life and not be a prisoner to the what if's. Learn the phrases you need that will help you let go of trying to control what he does or does not do so that you can be happy and free.
Choosing the healing work changes everything. Everytime you learn something new it's as if a weight is lifted off your shoulders and you feel lighter and free. My husband Garin joins me for a portion of the episode sharing why he does his healing work even though it's hard.
Description: When we are faced with triggers or past trauma, it’s easy to turn back to what feels familiar. Challenge yourself to move through the pain rather than repeat the heartache.
From the words of Brene' Brown, "Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen"...."Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance."
Listen to these examples to see if this resonates with you. I talk about scenarios where abuse may not be noticed and I give you phrases you can use to set boundaries.
Words, phrases, and actions explaining what verbal and emotional abuse looks like and sounds like. Steps we can take to learn and change these behaviors in ourselves and boundaries we can place to keep safe from others if we are being abused in this way
With recent events of chaos and destruction how can we open our eyes to what’s happening in our own homes and learn to see things different so we can take action.
How to turn what feels impossible into peace and freedom from the chaos of the unknown.
There is pain and exhaustion after the work is done and the major part of the trial is over. We discuss why this happens and how to navigate to healing
Betrayal is shocking regardless of our experience. The heart does not know the difference between pornography addiction and/or face to face infidelity. What you’ve experienced is worth holding space for. It does not need to be compared to another persons trauma.
“Stop asking why they keep doing it, and start asking yourself why you keep allowing it”
Speaking truth is hard to do and hard to hear sometimes but its the way to living in truth and not continually pushing things under the rug as if its not happening all around us. Staying quiet may protect the one, but speaking out protects many.
Putting our grief on the table, being open to new ways of seeing, brings us awareness and furthers healing.
You have to “Act” in order to receive the answers you need that will change your situation. Acting for yourself rather than being “acted upon” will strengthen you so you will be able to make hard decisions when needed.
Shaming our emotional brain hinders our progress and healing. Learn to accept both our logic and our emotional ways of thinking to reach clarity and healing.
We are getting real with the truth about how our behaviors are limiting our progress in finding healing and recovery from trauma.
It was time to accept my reality. The truth was staring me in the face. I needed to heal me...but how?
Episode 1: I thought my Life was a Lie: As a survivor of betrayal, infidelity, trauma, and emotional abuse, I Chose In to doing the hard work necessary to see through the manipulation, deceit, and lies that came from being the spouse of an addict.